Jumper Cables for Prose and Chains for My Patience

It concerns me when I can’t write because I’m a writer and when I mean I can’t write I mean write bios, especially filling out social network information. “Tell me about yourself” really isn’t that difficult a question. What do you want to know? Do you want the fiction or the nonfiction? I write downward moving sentences. If the sentences were a horse, it would be so far on its forehand it’d be doing a handstand. I should write instruction manuals. I’m clear, mechanical, and dry.

I’m a young woman who quit her job because she realized she was no longer writing. She was safe at her 9 to 5 and felt like she was shrinking in a walnut shell. So she gave 2 weeks notice and proceeded to watch her bank account shrink.

I'm honest, but I couldn’t make it more lack luster if I tried. I don’t necessarily want to teach, but I want to put ideas out there, for instance “This is how the world could be if we do this…”I can’t just write to entertain. I love making people laugh. I really respect people who can do both without blinking or taking a second to get on a soap box.

I have a talent for turning the most riveting, fascinating information into the most mundane formulaic material. My brother won Nationals. He was in the top 5 players of his league, recommended by all the coaches, one of the most feared players. He talked to 3 NHL teams. My press release reads like a shrug. So he creamed a couple NHL picks, had a shut out and still did his homework?

I need to invent jumper cables for prose. And chains for my patience.